WHERE IS GOD WHEN I DOUBT

March 9, 2008

Joe Kutter

Where is God when I doubt?  Sometimes I believe that God is in the doubt itself.  I know the Bible verses that warn us about doubting and I’ll get to that in a few minutes but I really do believe that God sometimes puts doubts in our heads so that we will move from places of comfortable passivity to engage God in his mighty mission to save this world from its own idolatry, sin, selfishness and injustice.

We need to remember John 3: 17 as well as John 3:16. God sent his son so that the whole world might be saved, not just you and me and our close friend here at First Baptist Church. When God sent Jesus, God announced that he is on a mission, a mission that will endure until the end of time and that mission is that the world will be saved. And sometimes, God plants a doubt or two in our heads to shake us out of our lethargy and move us into arenas of God’s never-ending mission in this world.

There was a time, a long time ago, when people believed that some people were born to be masters and others were born to be slaves. And then Moses heard a word at the burning bush. God said that he had heard the cries of his people and Moses began to doubt that God’s people were created for slavery.

Somebody had to doubt that the earth is flat and square in order for us to learn its true form.

There was a time when physicians believed that bleeding people would heal them. I’m glad that somebody doubted.

Long after Moses, people were taught that kings have a divine right to rule both the bodies and souls of men and women. Thank God, somebody doubted and maybe, just maybe, it was God who put that doubt in their heads.

Somebody doubted that women are inferior, inherently incapable of rational thought, always subject to their hormonal moodiness and out of that doubt discovered again that God created human beings in God’s own image, male and female God created us. For my daughters’ sake and for my grand-daughters’ sake, I’m really glad that God planted a doubt in somebody’s head.

Thank God that somebody doubted that God is too far away to know and too calloused to care and too weak to make a difference.

And when you meet Jesus, you begin to doubt that guilt must forever rule your life and that revenge is the only way to settle an argument, and that the grave is the end of all things.

When God’s Holy Spirit enters your life, you begin to doubt the doubts that steal your energy and rob you of your identity as a child of God. You doubt the fear that paralyzes and the shame that belittles. Some doubts are really good doubts!

If some doubts come from God, then it is clear that some beliefs do not and that takes us to our scripture.

Our scripture begins with the story of a poor fig tree. Jesus walked by and saw that the fig tree was not fruitful and he cursed it and it died. The horticulturalists tell us that it was not the right season for figs to bear fruit but in the telling of this story, that doesn’t seem to matter. It is a parable and the point is that tree that is fruitless will die. Don’t worry about that fig tree. Do not allow your focus to be removed from the point of the story. This is a story about being fruitful. The point is, be fruitful or die. You can worry about the details later, if you must but the point is, “Be fruitful or die.”

The disciples wondered, What happened? How did Jesus do that? Now, listen to Jesus’ answer.

²¹ Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. ²² If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:21-22 (NIV)

The entire verse hinges on one word. What did Jesus mean by “faith”?  When Jesus said, “If you have faith,” what was he talking about? Or to ask the question another way, what was Jesus promising?

Thirty years ago, this was a theoretical question, an academic question, a matter for theological discourse. Now it’s personal. It is very personal.

I am not a careful record keeper but I estimate that over my thirty-some years in ministry, I have conducted about 400 funerals. About 400 times I have sat with families and stood in front of congregations to celebrate a human life. Some of those 400 persons were men and women of deep faith. Many of their families were people of deep faith. And they died. In most cases, prayers for healing were not answered. The best that I can say is that God said “No”. In some cases, I suspect that thousands of prayers had been lifted to God for the saving of the life but they died anyway.

Jesus said that if you have faith and do not doubt you can tell a mountain to go jump into the sea and it will do so but I have seen mountains that refused to move. What is Jesus talking about?

My mother died with Alzheimer Disease. Did we pray for her healing? We did and she grew worse. Did thousands of faithful people pray? They did and she got worse. Then we prayed for her to die and she lived. We had faith and that mountain did not move.

And please do not insult me by telling me that I did not pray correctly or that my father lacked sufficient faith or that the thousands who prayed were inadequate in their righteousness or worship. Don’t tell me that we had a bad attitude or that we failed our course in positive thinking and that if we had shaped our mental images correctly, my mother would have lived.

I am assuming that Jesus told us the truth and I know that some of our prayers were not answered so what was Jesus talking about? If you have faith and you do not doubt, you can tell the mountain to jump into the sea, what is that about?

I have to say something else. I have prayed for people and they got better. I have prayed for people and they beat the medical odds. Some were healed. Why some and not others, I do not know. Maybe, some day, God will make it clear.

So, what is Jesus talking about? What is the promise upon which we can bet our lives?

Remember the story of the fig tree. That was about being fruitful in God’s Kingdom.  And this promise immediately follows that story. Do you remember the circumstances of Jesus’ ministry? There were lots of obstacles to being fruitful in the Kingdom of God: The Roman government and the attitude of the religious authorities presented terrible obstacles. And to make it harder, Jesus’ crucifixion was at hand.

And following Jesus’ crucifixion, the disciples were scattered and, taking Judas out of the picture, ten of the remaining eleven were martyred for the gospel and the eleventh died on a prison island. Do you think that they did not want better? But God’s mission would not be denied. Mountains were moved and men and women heard the gospel and lives were changed, indeed the whole world was changed.

That’s nice, you say, but what about me?  What about my personal problem? What about my personal mountain? 

This is my personal belief.  On this faith, I have staked my life. There are times when God will not cause the mountain to move. But there is never a time when God will refuse to cross the mountain with you. My Dad, who is now in heaven with my Mom, will blush when I say this. And Lord knows that he had his problems and his weaknesses and his idiosyncrasies.  He never felt like a hero and there were times when the exhaustion nearly robbed him of his own faith. But I have to say what I saw from this long distance. Looking back on the years of my mother’s disease, my father exhibited nearly super-human strength in his care for her and the sources of that strength were his never ending love for her and his faith in God’s continuing presence. Somehow, he believed that he would do what he could not do on his own and he did! That mountain moved!

The Apostle Paul had a problem that he called his thorn in the flesh and he asked God to take it away. He said that after the third prayer, he heard God say, “My grace is sufficient for you.” In other words, God said, I will not move the mountain but I will walk you over it.  I will not remove your ailment but I will give you strength to carry it. I will not make you life easy but I will give you strength. I will not remove the danger but I will give you courage. I will not ease your aggravation but I will give you patience. When you think that you are the only one, I will love you and I will give you neighbors for you to love. And even when you doubt, in your Christian sisters and brothers, there will be faith enough to carry you through.

And as you carry the burden that you really do not want to carry, the world will see the strength that you do not see in yourself and they’ll wonder, how does she do it? And somebody will say, “she has faith”, and your life will be fruitful for the Kingdom of God.

And some day, dare I speak the hard and simple truth, some day somebody’s prayer will be unanswered for you. And on that graduation day, you will move from this life to the next. And you will discover that the great mountain that separates this world from the next has been removed and you will find yourself standing in the presence of Holy Mountain Mover Himself. You will be in God’s presence and the only mountains there will be the mountains that make heaven beautiful.

If you have faith and do not doubt, you will say to that mountain, “Move” and God will toss it aside and you will enter into the regions of heaven itself.